Ed was in trouble. He had forgotten his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him 'Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!'

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

The doctors say that Ed will live, but he'll always have the limp. Please pray for Ed.



May not be on the computer much as I am working more days this week and maybe from now on to make a little extra money with the holidays coming up and taxes too. I'll be on when I can just a little busier these days than usual. Hope you're all doing well!

If you are easily offended.....DON'T READ!! It's just a joke!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the generic name for Viagra?
A. Mycoxafillin....

Q. How can you tell if a man hasn't been taking his Viagra?
A. It's not hard.

Q. Did you hear that they put Viagra in a candy bar?
A. It's called "Oh, Henry!"

Q. What do you get when you mix Viagra and Rogain?
A. Don King

Q. What happens when you give Viagra to a lawyer?
A. They get taller

Q. How do you get Viagra from the internet?
A. All you need is a 3.5" floppy!

Keep smilin'!

John, Brian, and Martin were sitting on the front porch, drinking a
little 'shine, and talking about their dumb ole' hillbilly wives.

"You know, boys, my wife Judi is SO stupid. She went down to the
store 'tother day and bought an air-conditioner! Hell, boys, we ain't
got no 'lectricity!"

The other two just howl with laughter.

Brian the Miniature says, "Hell, that ain't nothing -- my dumbass
wife went down to the store and bought herself a washing machine! We
ain't got no runnin' water!"

That one nearly slayed 'em.

Martin wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Well, I reckon my
bride's GOT to be the stupidest of the bunch, boys. 'tother day I was
snooping thru her purse to find me a couple dollars to play some poker
with. I found six or seven rubbers -- hell, she ain't got no dick!"

Peeping Tom

There is a girl who lives on the 4th floor of an apartment building, and even though it is a fairly good neighborhood, she has been having trouble with a Peeping Tom that lives next door...
Every time she goes out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun while wearing her bikini, this Peeping Tom looks over from his balcony as soon as she removes her top, and stares at her...
She has complained to the superintendent about this Peeping Tom, but he says she must have positive proof before he can do a thing
She FINALLY got a picture of him while he was staring at her...

Don't know when I will be able to answer comments or even visit any blogs. Our stupid internet service is all messed up. The damn computers are running slower than dial-up. It all started yesterday when we were on our computers and the electricity went out. After it came back on, my computer started actin' stupid and running so damn slow that I couldn't even load a page. It got so frustrating that I went out to watch TV which sucked cuz there was nothing good on and so many commercials. They drive me insane. I HATE commercials!!!! I thought this morning when I got up and got on the computer, things would be better but they are not. Ray called the 800 number for our service and they said there is a problem in town.....well DUH, you just figured that out.....GEEEZ!!!!As soon as they ever get their shit together, I will be back on. I wanted to be around for the music last night but didn't make it. Well until things get better, I'll just get off the computer. I'm am so mad right now.