You Better Run


We Belong

Couldn't think of anything to write today so found this on You Tube. I like Jim Carrey!

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in big trouble this time! God is missing and they think we did it!"

Top 20 signs that you use the net too often:

Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?"

You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.

You feel driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.

You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening toward a flimsy guard rail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You frantically search for the "Back" button.

Your dog has his own Web page. So does your goldfish.

When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You start introducing yourself as "Jon at I-I Net dot com."

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an '@' in their names.

You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

You laugh at people with 56k modems.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 300 hours per month "unlimited."

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer, and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.


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P.S.- I received a PM from Man Mountain Dean and he wanted me to tell you that he may not be blogging for awhile. He has been having trouble with his legs and has to keep them elevated. Poor guy had heart surgery not long ago and spent some time in a nursing home and is home now and was doing real good for awhile but now is having problems with his legs. You might say a prayer for him. He's had a rough go of it. He does have some good news though. He became a great grandpa. She was born Sunday at 12:30 PM and weighed 7lbs. 1oz. and is 20 inches long. She and her parents are doing fine and Dean is very happy. He's been waiting for this day! Her name is Arianna Maria and I am happy for all of them and glad everything is ok. I just hope everything goes ok for him. Keep him in your prayers as prayers can be powerful! Have a great day everyone. It's a beautiful day here today. Has cooled down and feels good out.

25 Things Women Should Know About Men:

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear, "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, you should be worried about him.

16. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

17. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

18. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

19. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice, voluntarily.

20. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

21. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget. He didn't lose your number. He didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

22. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you; I want to marry you; I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave so fast, they leave skid marks.

23. Men are self confident because they grow up identifying with super heroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

24. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

25. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.