1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

2. Drum on every available surface.

3. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

4. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

5. Ask 800 operators for dates.

6. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

7. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

8. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

9. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

10. Set alarms for random times.

11. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

12. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

13. Honk and wave to strangers.

14. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

15. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

16. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

18. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

19. only type in lowercase.

20. dont use any punctuation either.

21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

22. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

23. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

25. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

26. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

27. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

28. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

29. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

30. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."



I am going to the vet later this afternoon to pick up Tigger's ashes. We had him cremated so I better get the china cabinet cleaned off so I can set his urn up there. I hope they had the first choice color we picked out which was blue. Hope you are all having a good day. It's beautiful here today. It's supposed to be pretty cool tomorrow.

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store.

He does a double take, as he notices that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable. He walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale."

The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."

And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me having to get a dish."

And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

Sept. 11th, 2001 was a day in history that none of us will ever forget. From that day on everyone's lives changed. We will always remember that tragic day and of the many lives lost.


You are always


Say a prayer today and ALWAYS REMEMBER!!

(I received this from a friend and I think it is worth reading)

GOD SAID:

If you never felt pain, then how would you know that I'm a Healer?

If you never went through difficulties, how would you know that I'm a Deliverer?

If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an overcomer?

If you never felt sadness, how would you know that I'm a Comforter?

If you never made a mistake, how would you know that I'm forgiving?

If you knew it all, how would you know that I will answer your questions?

If you never were in trouble, how would you know that I will come to your rescue?

If you never were broken, then how would you know that I can make you whole?

If you never had a problem, how would you know that I can solve them?

If you never had any suffering, then how would you know what Jesus went through?

If you never went through the fire, then how would you become pure?

If I gave you all things, how would you appreciate them?

If I never corrected you, how would you know that I love you?

If you had all power, then how would you learn to depend on me?

If your life was perfect, then what would you need Me for?

THANK YOU, GOD!